Monday, June 8, 2015

Attack of the Killer Ketchup Burger at SMASHBURGER

Zena, Goddess of Fire, and Pony, did a 20-napkin burger lunch at Smashburger last week. 

In preparation for taking on a Smashburger (known for their aggressiveness) we didn't eat any breakfast, so we arrived grumpy just before noon. We scouted out the enemy (a.k.a. Killer Calories) and placed our order at the counter.

Smashburger on Wolf Road in Colonie
Clearly there were problems at the register and the line grew quickly while we stood there and watched the staff stumble with changes in orders, mistakes in order entries, and making change. But the place was clean and bright and the staff were very friendly and helpful and everyone was working hard.

Zena and Pony scout the place out
I did a 2040 calorie superhero attack on a Classic Smashburger (the big one, since I got a FREE ENTREE from the manager at the Alliance for Women in Media luncheon last month and figured I could beat it), a side of sweet potato fries and a chocolate shake.  NOTE: I did a review for Yelp of Burger21 in Latham recently and the basic burger/shake/sweet potato fries combo is so I can do a little bit of comparing between restaurants. And because I like 'em.  (:

The shake was at least 12 ounces of awesome - an easy fight to put that one away. Made with Haagen Daz and milk and syrup (what's in the syrup I don't know - nothing online, either, as far as ingredients go). But simple and nice and smooth and rich. I liked that it was served in a frosted glass. Like the spoon and metal cup thing. I finished it before anything else in front of me. Irresistibly delicious.
Chocolate shake: 760 Killer Calories (and worth it!)
The sweet potato fries were nice and crispy and not at all greasy or salty - some of the best I've had. Needs no condiment, but I lost that fight. It was a generous serving and I only ate about half of what was in front of me. OK even superheroes are beaten sometimes. Delicious.

Classic Smashburger and sweet potato fries
But that burger (topped with ketchup and pickles and red onion and lettuce and tomato and secret sauce and cheese) wasn't what I expected, and I almost lost the fight.  Stuff was squirting out in all directions. The brioche bun got soggy and fell apart. Pickles plopped out creating panic.  And honestly, though tender, it just tasted like ketchup and onions and pickles. Lots of ketchup. WAY too much ketchup. But I finished it - yeah!!!  Next time I'll ask them NOT to put ketchup on my burger. I can do that at the table. 

Pony did 1540 calories in her good fight: Bacon Cheeseburger, fries, fried pickles, and a Sprite. The pickles were a really really salty but good - the coating was actually stuck to the pickle, which isn't something you see too often. 

Fried pickles with a side of icky bottled Ranch dressing
The fries were good, shoestrings, crispy, OK. But that burger???  It tasted like ketchup and onions. Yep, not like bacon (two little pieces) or cheese (Uh-merican and flavorless). Again, the toppings took over, sort of like the forces of evil if you let them. The beef may be better quality than "drive-thru" but you'd hardly know it.

Bacon Cheeseburger with a wee bit of bacon and a side of fries
I like the build your own option - I understand it's their most popular - and will try that next time. 

No onions.

No ketchup.

Love, Zena

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